suicide suicide prevention mental health help

What to Do if My Loved One is Suicidal?

Ever since the global pandemic with the covid 19 virus, we, as a global society, have become very well aware of the importance of mental health checkups and suicide prevention. Especially among teens who were isolated during the pandemic, a mental health care plan is imperative for not only their developmental growth but for their transition into adulthood and adult-like behaviors. Most notably, watch for high-risk adult activities such as:

  • Alcohol consumption
  • Drug use
  • Sexuality
  • Nicotine use
  • Eating disorders
  • Violence
  • Gambling
  • Reckless driving
  • Self-harm (deliberate self-harm behaviors such as cutting, burning, biting, picking or hitting)

We realize these are only a few, and your loved one may not fit neatly into the risky behaviors listed above but know that you are not alone and that there is help. If this is an immediate emergency, call 911. Also, contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you’re in crisis, “there are options available to help you cope. You can also call Lifeline at any time to speak to someone and get support. For confidential support available 24/7 for everyone in the United States, call 988.”

According to the National Library of Medicine, “High-risk behaviors are defined as acts that increase the risk of disease or injury, which can subsequently lead to disability, death, or social problems. The most common high-risk behaviors include violence, alcoholism, tobacco use disorder, risky sexual behaviors, and eating disorders,”.  

Unfortunately, I have known many people who have felt so lost, so hopeless, so powerless, and so afraid that they took their own life or tried. About a decade ago, one of my childhood friends’ forty-four-year-old brother took his life through carbon monoxide poisoning. With his vehicle parked on the side of the snow covered road, in a rural part of northern Michigan, he died in his vehicle. His cause of death was carbon monoxide asphyxiation and was not found until the next day.

More pain came to my friend’s life when her seventeen-year-old son took his life in the same manner a mere six months later. As my friend faced this unfathomable event, I had no idea how to help or what to say. So, I just sat with her, cried, prayed, yelled, and talked about her loved ones. It’s all I had to give, considering there’s really nothing you can do when a parent loses their child, especially from suicide with all the unanswered questions, and the “what ifs” and the “if onlys”.

Anxiety, depression and substance abuse

The relationship between the disorders is bi-directional, meaning that people who misuse substances are more likely to suffer from depression and vice versa. People who are depressed may drink or use drugs to lift their mood or escape from feelings of guilt or despair, only to make their conditions worse over time.

Another childhood friend of mine also lost her older brother to suicide. Suicide by bottle. He intentionally poured more than a gallon of liquor into his body for a little over six months before his organs eventually shut down, and thus ultimately died of heart failure. Again, this was not the first tragedy this same family faced; her sister died of a drug overdose twenty years prior. Shortly after my friend’s brother died of alcoholism, she began recovering from drug abuse. She has helped many people with similar afflictions along her journey and is actively seeking freedom from the bondage of self through a twelve-step program.

Some notable twelve-step programs are:

  1. Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) – A.A. has a solution. That isn’t an empty promise. A.A. has been helping alcoholics recover for more than 80 years. A.A.’s program of recovery is built on the simple foundation of one alcoholic sharing with another. If your drinking is out of control, A.A. can help.
  2. Al-Anon – “Al‑Anon is a mutual support program for people whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. By sharing common experiences and applying the Al-Anon principles, families and friends of alcoholics can bring positive changes to their individual situations, whether or not the alcoholic admits the existence of a drinking problem or seeks help.
  3. Alateen, a part of the Al-Anon Family Groups, is a fellowship of young people (mostly teenagers) whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking whether they are in your life drinking or not.

We have learned in great detail since 1934 how alcoholism/addiction is a disease. A chronic disease in which a person craves alcohol and is unable to control the amount they drink. As the disease progresses, they need to drink larger amounts to get the same effect and suffer withdrawal symptoms should they stop drinking abruptly. For advanced cases, medical detox is needed as patients have died trying to do it on their own.

Defined as “Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a medical condition characterized by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. It encompasses the conditions that some people refer to as alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence, alcohol addiction, and the colloquial term, alcoholism. Considered a brain disorder, AUD can be mild, moderate, or severe,”.

Suicide prevention for teens

During the process of divorcing my sons’ father, their father became violent both emotionally and physically, causing extreme stress in our home for more than eight months, resulting in PTSD for both of my boys as well as myself.

On the day their father was moving out, he had another violent episode, tearing apart my youngest’s self-esteem. After his father left with the moving truck, my youngest son made a serious attempt at suicide.

Thankfully, I was home and heard him struggling to breathe. He was sent and admitted to the world-renowned University of Michigan Mott’s Hospital for Children. Once released, we began family therapy and intense therapy for my son.

We embarked on a journey to save my son’s will to live and adopted the mission of the Suicide Prevention Services of America: to open (our) minds, save lives, and restore hope through prevention, intervention, and postvention, using education, advocacy, and collaboration.

What to do if my loved one is suicidal?

In conclusion, should you or someone you care about have suicidal thoughts, call 911 or the suicide hotline at 988. Keep your lines of communication open, honest, and compassionate. Seek professional psychiatric, medical, and emotional help immediately. Never give up, stay connected, and do not isolate.